Lately I’ve been feeling off. Not my typical optimistic self, or necessarily seeking the good. I’ve termed it the stage of, “hitting the wall”. Or, the B ZONE.
It’s the weird floaty space of just feeling blah. At least this is what it is for me.
–
I was sitting with oasis earlier today at the house, and someone asked me how I was. Immediately, I almost said, “good”. Yet, I shared how I was. That there were a lot of different feelings floating around, the pressures of squad leading, making decisions were hitting all at once, and that I needed to chill with the Lord.
It was a sweet space of getting to all talk about our process’ of sitting with the Lord and surrendering to Him. It was good and refreshing.
–
We made our way into Antigua, honestly to get kombucha, and banana bread from fat cat. (It’s INCREDIBLE!)
Heather and I ran a couple of errands, and ended up in a tuk tuk. She was so excited for her first ride in one!
It hit me then. Seeing her come to life in excitement to try something new, something I had done many times before on the field, it brought me life. It brought a newness to something “old”.
You see, coming back out on the field and squad leading has been sooo good, and so worth it. There are just moments where I get weary, where I lose sight of the why.
Yet, seeing your friend get excited about something new, or seeing them step into their freedom with the Lord, IS BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah, it was a tuk tuk ride, but a NEW experience.
This short ride brought everything I was feeling before leaving the house to a pause. It released this weight I had been carrying around, and allowed me to center back in on the Lord.
–
Here’s what I ponder while enjoying the kombucha and banana bread:
What I’m learning right now is, its worth it. It’s worth saying yes every day to the Lord and to the squad. It’s worth showing up to your own life and taking on the day hand in hand with the Father. It’s worth doing the same things over and over in ministry- because the kids you get to love on, the community you get to serve, you get to do it all in the name of the Father.
It’s worth taking the daily bread.
–
Siempre si,
Suzie or Suze
