R A W

Currently sitting in a cafe staring out a window overlooking a garden in the city of Craiova. Which is in Romania//Eastern Europe! We have some down time before afternoon ministry, and bless up because jet lag is real. 

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A lot has happened since being in Honduras, and leaving Honduras for our next country. 

• We raised up four incredible squad leaders!

• Helped on the mountain // the men had manistry

• Said bye to Cami 

• Attempted a debrief in San Pedro Sula 

• Got hit with COVID (everyone has recovered!)

• Said bye to Connor 

• Tried to go to South Africa 

• Did not make it to South Africa 

• Quarantined in NJ 

• Had a route change!

• The squad made it to Romania 

• Started ministry 

• About to debrief! 

During the process of all of this, I was asked to stay longer to help the squad get to Romania and debrief, and then I’ll head home in about a week! 

So here I am, back in Romania. A place I honestly never thought I would come back to. 

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You see, when they asked me to stay a little longer to support, I attempted to count the cost of my yes. It meant staying out longer, stepping into a different role of support, and taking on any and all challenges. 

When in reality, I could only count what I knew about. No one had any idea of the challenges we would face while quarantining, and trying to get people to the next country, and praying for all negative results. 

To be honest, it’s been hard. Quarantine brings on a variety of challenges, taking ownership of what is mine, and letting go of what isn’t in a leadership role, missing home, and trying to encourage those around me. 

All of this has brought me back to my original yes to alumni squad leading. Why did I say yes? Did I count the cost? Is it all worth it? What is the Lord showing/saying to me then and now? 

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These questions buzzed around my brain for a couple of days. Talking to one of my friends about the cost of our yes, and is it worth it even when you may not know the destination of it all? REALLY GOT ME THINKING. 

Sitting with the Lord, I realized what my yes meant to Him when I gave my life to the Lord. When I was 17, He said , “take my hand, I want to take you on an adventure.” 

He never promised it would be easy, or care free. He promised He wouldn’t go anywhere, He would be right there with me. He promised to take my hand, and lift my arms when I couldn’t do it anymore. Aka- I need Him and cannot count on my own strength. 

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So why did I say yes to squad leading and yes to staying out longer?

Seeing your friends step into freedom from whatever hold has been on their life is BEAUTIFUL!! 

Seeing someone take a risk with the Lord is life giving. 

Seeing someone step out in boldness, become more self aware, champion those around them, fall deeper in love with the Lord is worth it. 

It is all worth it. 

Each person on this squad is worth it. 

As much as I miss home, or how tired I have become, seeing H squad grow with the Lord is worth the cost of my yes. 

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*fundraising update! Help me get fully funded by clicking the link above:) I am a little under $6,000 of being fully funded. I fully trust and know God will provide every penny! Please pray and consider partnering with the Lord and I as I finish out squad leading. Love you all! God Bless:)